do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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