yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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