I'm really into asian looking animals
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
