Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
