'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think I sprained my soul last night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
