My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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