I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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