I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
