I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
