Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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