god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
