Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
