Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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