so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
