she was so not down for the gang bang
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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