Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
