I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
