i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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