Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize