i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
