do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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