Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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