Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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