ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
