Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
