does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
