That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my being single is dangerous.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
