Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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