Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
