honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
