I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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