Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
