im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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