what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
