Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
