I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
