Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
