What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize