The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
