There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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