I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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