My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
