when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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