It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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