you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
