If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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