I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
