Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
