i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize