i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
