new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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