I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
