everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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