this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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