i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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