"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
