Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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