saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
