its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
