Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
