i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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