meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
