Already got asked if we're dating
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
