I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's blow job season.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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