he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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