this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
