do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize