does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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