i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
