So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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