I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
