man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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